Post by kaydeascream on Dec 18, 2008 16:57:47 GMT -5
It's down to this
my strength is gone
I've lost all faith
I can't hold on
The pills too weak
to ever end this pain
So in my hand I hold the bottle
and dump it down the drain
the gun, though useful,
seems too fast
It'll end the suffering
but I want the pain to last
I want to feel all I deserve
to cry until my eyes run dry
to feel the searing endless pain
until a second before I die
And so I turn to my one last hope
the shining bloodless knifre,
the one that sits so carelessly
the one to end my life
I pick it up so gentle
Hold it shining in my palm
bring it to a point upon my wrist
ignoring the voice that screams
THIS IS WRONG
I'm sorry mum,
I'm sorry dad,
but I just can't face this day.
Held to such expectations
to be perfect in every way
I take the knife and rip it
from left to right is tears
the second cut is twice as deep
and the screaming twice as loud.
But no one hears
I'm all alone
so glad that no one is around
Now my arm is numbing
I slowly unclench my fist
knowing the end will soon be near
I start to slash my wrist
the blood comes pouring out
uncontrollably I start to cry
Another cut, I can see bone.
Maybe I don't want to die.
Then I think of all the pain,
the hate that fills my life.
Anger floods my eyes,
and again I clutch the knife
Ripping through my wrist again
I'm starting to get dizzy
The room is spinning
there's no one left to miss me
slicing out my life
I'm slipping to the floor
my blood is cold and wet
it's seeping through the door
my eyes are slowly shutting
the pain is almost gone
my wrist is ripped apart
it's the last thing that I see
Bloody and torn; a symbol
of a person I could never be.
Lying on the ground
and soaked with blood
I whisper my last goodbyes
My suicidal tool clatters to the floor
As I bravely close my eyes
I wish I had lived my life
I wish I could have been strong
One cut will do it,
will end this pitiful life
and so with shaky hands
I hold the blood drenched knife.
-Kaydea Lautzenheiser
my strength is gone
I've lost all faith
I can't hold on
The pills too weak
to ever end this pain
So in my hand I hold the bottle
and dump it down the drain
the gun, though useful,
seems too fast
It'll end the suffering
but I want the pain to last
I want to feel all I deserve
to cry until my eyes run dry
to feel the searing endless pain
until a second before I die
And so I turn to my one last hope
the shining bloodless knifre,
the one that sits so carelessly
the one to end my life
I pick it up so gentle
Hold it shining in my palm
bring it to a point upon my wrist
ignoring the voice that screams
THIS IS WRONG
I'm sorry mum,
I'm sorry dad,
but I just can't face this day.
Held to such expectations
to be perfect in every way
I take the knife and rip it
from left to right is tears
the second cut is twice as deep
and the screaming twice as loud.
But no one hears
I'm all alone
so glad that no one is around
Now my arm is numbing
I slowly unclench my fist
knowing the end will soon be near
I start to slash my wrist
the blood comes pouring out
uncontrollably I start to cry
Another cut, I can see bone.
Maybe I don't want to die.
Then I think of all the pain,
the hate that fills my life.
Anger floods my eyes,
and again I clutch the knife
Ripping through my wrist again
I'm starting to get dizzy
The room is spinning
there's no one left to miss me
slicing out my life
I'm slipping to the floor
my blood is cold and wet
it's seeping through the door
my eyes are slowly shutting
the pain is almost gone
my wrist is ripped apart
it's the last thing that I see
Bloody and torn; a symbol
of a person I could never be.
Lying on the ground
and soaked with blood
I whisper my last goodbyes
My suicidal tool clatters to the floor
As I bravely close my eyes
I wish I had lived my life
I wish I could have been strong
One cut will do it,
will end this pitiful life
and so with shaky hands
I hold the blood drenched knife.
-Kaydea Lautzenheiser
